[For a long time Yngvi has to sit. It's not as if he's ever had some rose-tinted view of the world though if he could stop being surprised when he's hurt or let down or disappointed by people or things that are terrible even when some part of him expects it then that might be somewhere approaching nice. Or not nice but less like his legs are being swept out from under him while someone drives a mailed fist hard into his gut.
There were black moods that Asher had sometimes, usually if they had to stop by his family, days when he'd just wrap himself up then go sullen, snappish, hit the bottle or stare sightlessly ahead until something broke. Then the words came out of him. Words like that.
So it's not as if Yngvi is naive, you can't grow up in Kirkwall and still be naive. You can't grow up in the Carta and still be naive.
But there's Kit who saved him as a kid, Kit who makes time out of his life for him, Kit who doesn't expect Yngvi to be anything other than what Yngvi is in that particular moment. So it's tricky. To know what to say here. To do.]
You're not bad though. You're not. You try. And there's a lot who talk and talk and talk like they're doing all this good or they say 'well I've had it hard' but I mean lots of us have and we haven't done what some people have done in the past however long it's been y'know? Shit happens when you're trying to live, what's the difference between a mercenary and a soldier, you still kill people for coin to get by, just one of you is more honest about it. [This is a lot of talking for Yngvi in the place he's in now but the dam has broken, the words are tumbling out not quite easily but he doesn't screw up his face, seems relatively at peace with the way it's going so he let's it happen, feels the knot in his chest restrict just a little.] How d'you think you make it bad? You're here going to bad places to help when you don't need to and you're doing a shit job no one'll thank you for, and-- and you're here. Didn't let me or my brother die when lots of people would've just walked on by.
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There were black moods that Asher had sometimes, usually if they had to stop by his family, days when he'd just wrap himself up then go sullen, snappish, hit the bottle or stare sightlessly ahead until something broke. Then the words came out of him. Words like that.
So it's not as if Yngvi is naive, you can't grow up in Kirkwall and still be naive. You can't grow up in the Carta and still be naive.
But there's Kit who saved him as a kid, Kit who makes time out of his life for him, Kit who doesn't expect Yngvi to be anything other than what Yngvi is in that particular moment. So it's tricky. To know what to say here. To do.]
You're not bad though. You're not. You try. And there's a lot who talk and talk and talk like they're doing all this good or they say 'well I've had it hard' but I mean lots of us have and we haven't done what some people have done in the past however long it's been y'know? Shit happens when you're trying to live, what's the difference between a mercenary and a soldier, you still kill people for coin to get by, just one of you is more honest about it. [This is a lot of talking for Yngvi in the place he's in now but the dam has broken, the words are tumbling out not quite easily but he doesn't screw up his face, seems relatively at peace with the way it's going so he let's it happen, feels the knot in his chest restrict just a little.] How d'you think you make it bad? You're here going to bad places to help when you don't need to and you're doing a shit job no one'll thank you for, and-- and you're here. Didn't let me or my brother die when lots of people would've just walked on by.