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It's just me.

[Your other boy is off with the dog and his heart hammering loud enough the smith caste are ready to file suit.]

Palms are gettin' a bit sweaty to be holdin' the crystal here m'lady, you off in Nevarra then I get posed a question like that.

( She's not good at this. There's a worrisome silence and then, abruptly: )

I married him. In his own tradition, not the Chantry. Here while we've been away.

You did an Asher--

[No wait that's a very poor turn of phrase right there let him back up with--]

You did an Asher- [literally the exact same thing but this time it's not being gasped into the sending crystal with a spray of crumbs he'll clean up later since he's not a savage.] What does that even mean? In his own tradition? You're in Nevarra you're meant to go offend the weird skull mages by stuffing incense and corpse perfume down your trousers not--

What does that even mean! [Thranduil wears a lot of fabric were cocoons involved??? Avvar do the singing and the ropes did he drape her in yards of too many robes and she had to fight her way out or something? Is his heart supposed to be racing this fast let him just...yes just sit. On the floor.]

I did Asher four years ago!

( young lady. )

Marriage for his people is a private gesture between two people.

( Or: no she's not fucking telling Yngvi what that means. )

And we- made it. He's extraordinarily important to me and so are you, I didn't want to keep it from you.

What does that even mean, some secret handshake?

[You know how two people can be the same age but not? Yeah that.

But considering the State of the Yngvi he's touched.]

Are you happy? I'm a shit judge of that but if you're happy and that's what you wanted, that matters most. And like, it goes without saying what I would do if he upset you. [Say bye to your knees.]

( They might be the same age, but she's definitely the big sister. And she's definitely not answering that. )

We upset each other constantly.

( how to put this. )

He drives me insane, he's the most ridiculous and infuriating person I know, and I want very much to fight with him for the rest of my natural life. I want to turn to him thirty years from now and tell him he's still being a twat. Being without him would make me so unhappy.

Well one of you can't set the other on fire without getting kindling or making it obvious.

[Amalia come back, he misses you and Nasir fighting over stupid things.

Does he wear more fabric than you because I tried measuring but he cares. I think. He said a lot of words that sounded like caring. [That sounds like it's it. That almost is it. Heart in his mouth (why isn't it being charged rent, swinging between there and the pit of his stomach these days) he carries in since she's in Nevarra and not here where it'd be at most the work oh less than a day to find him.] For a while there, didn't know if you'd be happy again. Last time I saw someone like that I thought they were goin' to die. If he stops you from that then-- I just want people to be happy.

[A little thing to say but it's not. It's the heart of a mountain to admit that somehow.]

I've never learned the trick of it.

( Happiness, she means, her voice so quiet and wearier with the thought-

She knows what he means, too, the time he never asked her questions about, the grief that burned through her like she was kindling, burned out everything but that grief and left her bereft in its wake, a puzzle box closed around nothing. He was there, when being there was all she needed, and he has the right to say things to her others do not. )

No one ever showed me.

( Did the Comte look happy, sighting down the end of a crossbow? Probably not. He looks happy, sometimes, but it's a trick of the light and if you look him right in the eyes at the wrong moment you can see it; the shadow there that he has always lived with, that follows his daughter still. )

He's so determined to. And I look at him, and I think I could.

I think it's like coin tricks, you can get good at it but then you know how it's done and it's just not the same. You see through it. Loses the shine.

[That's not what she's talking to him for, and she wasn't meant to know that, that's been the saving grace of pretty much everyone being in his favourite place in Thedas without him right now.]

Or it slips right through your fingers, rolls off down the street into a gutter or behind the furniture, d'you want to go clawing it out? That's hard y'know?

[Asher was big. And loud. And full of life but there was something in him that wasn't-- he looks at Aura when he's last seen her, Aura who's closest to Asher of anyone still living and she's fairly big, and full of life, not loud but they have the same eyes until you go looking in and her eyes aren't elsewhere half the time.

Yngvi has a mirror for practice. You can get good at it. What people need to see or want to see. No one wants a miserable dwarf unless he's respectable and they owe him coin, his father of all the fathers would say to him with one big heavy hand pressing him down, down, down. Einar looked happy enough. He thinks. Yngvi doesn't look like Einar though.]

Maybe that's what it is then, reaching for a thing and there's someone there so you don't fall flat.

I think that that might be so. I think that what love is, it's taking every terrible part of yourself - every weak thing, every soft place - and fashioning of it a knife, and handing it to someone and saying: you won't hurt me, will you?

They often do. But I don't think he will.

( A little laugh; )

I've never planned for either.

[That--

Well that's quite frankly rude and uncalled for, strikes right into soft, raw places that Yngvi wasn't expecting to be struck (which fair enough is her getting a message across to him pretty damn effectively right there since he loves her, and she can say that to him, and she doesn't know yet what's been going on with him or why he's kept his mouth shut so much) so he coughs after an intake of breath.

Holds the sending crystal tight enough it hurts.]

You don't get to plan for a lot of things though, even when you do I mean look how much goes tits up. [Orzammar. All of tha went wrong it wasn't meant to go that way, and he doesn't-- he can't.] I'll tidy up behind me for when you're coming back then.

( quiet, warm, decisive: )

I've missed you.

[After everything of late, he's smiling.]

You too. I'll tell you when you're back, I had things to sort. Nick me some corpse perfume and I'll tell you all about it.

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